Siming Moments

"A Spring in Neverland"

2011-05-04T14:57:00.013-05:00

A Neverland of cherry blossoms and weeping willows in the Commons.
Lantern-lit Beacon Hill beckons, a meandering stream of red bricks
Stretches forward to a certain destiny ahead.
From a world of traditions preserved and old patterns remembered,
Nomads leisurely stroll in a moonless evening—
Studying an unmasked open sky
Polka-dotted by spring florets and young, tender leaves.
Cloudy.
Rain awaits a still morning.
Somber clarity in the grey light of day.
Emptiness.
Or a blank slate?

by
Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Designer, Siming Cybercreative
May 4, 2011

A Holiday Spirit

2009-12-18T22:42:00.006-05:00

It's amazing that Xmas is only a few days away and it will be a new year just around the corner. Perhaps, you're scrambling to buy last-minute holiday presents. Maybe you're reflecting on a year with some challenges and can find also moments of gratitude for what you do have—probably the very things you tend to take for granted. Despite the economic hardships in our own country, there are others around the world hit even harder with less of a safety net. As I look at the mountains of mailings from all kinds of non-profits this year on my desk, it's clear that the need is even greater as many families struggle to feed their children and keep their homes. Families normally generous with others have less money to spare for charities to people in developing nations and to other worthy causes. If you have a few extra dollars to spare, you can step in for these families who cannot donate as much this year and do what you can to support the causes for which you care.

As you think about where to make your purchases with ethnical considerations in mind or if you are thinking about donating to some non-profits, perhaps you may find my notes a couple years ago helpful...

Tips for Holiday Shopping with Ethical Considerations in Mind:

This posting lists the websites for some retailers who sell eco-friendly and/or fair-traded products, or support indigenous arts internationally. You can also support local artists and retailers to stimulate the local economy.

Tips for Giving to Non-Profits and Charities:

Seeking a gift for someone who seems to have everyone or wish to honor the memory of someone important to you? Maybe donate to a charity in their honor this year. Send them a goat or a dozen chicks... well, not really to them but to a family in need.

It doesn't matter that we don't all share the same priorities for whom to designate as recipients of our gifts. In fact, it's probably a good thing we have different causes we care about whether they be climate change action, wildlife, poverty, children's welfare, education, international development, peace, human rights, civil rights, scientific research, and the arts. All that matters is that you are dedicated to your cause and if we can all do a little or a bit more, we can address more causes together with more heart.

In any case, happy Holiday as you cultivate and rejoice in the holiday spirit!

- jans.siming
www.jsiming.com

We are the World... Michael Jackson Invited Us to Reconnect and Be Rooted in a Childlike Idealism to Make the World a Better Place

2009-06-26T10:33:00.038-05:00

Yesterday—Thursday, July 26th—Michael Jackson suddenly passed away. The world lost a spectacular artist, a creative genius, and a cultural icon that captured the spirit of the pre-9/11 era defined by a youthful faith in global peace even as we struggled to emerge from the antithetical cold war paranoia. He was theatrical, bigger than life, outlandish, complex, sensitive, unique, and adored by many but he always remained a lonely character masked in dazzling golds and silvers, sequined gloves, and plastic surgery transformations. He was at once immediately and intimately accessible through the heartfelt music that entreated us to change the world and to make it a better place starting with that woman or man in the mirror, and yet elusive as he shifted into increasingly ethereal-like forms and cultural identities over the years. We were never sure what was underneath that mask. Maybe that is what made him curiously omnipresent yet the true invisible man, a character so mercurial that like water, he could shape his fluid form to the labels and containers we enclosed him. Although he may not have been comfortable in his own skin, he transcended racial divides artistically to unite the world in a shared wonder for the music that invited us to move beyond a concern for the microcosm of our individual nation to the condition of a global world.

Like many others, I felt the urge to dig up MJ's music and reconnect with the crystal-beaded, pixie-dust magic and idealism of the '80s that his music reflected. I downloaded Michael Jackson's songs from iTunes and after consuming a chocolate-almond-coated coconut cream popsicle, danced off the calories to MJ's greatest hits. His songs were the soundtrack to the children of the '80s. I was one of those children enchanted by his idealistic lyrics and entertaining themes. I fondly recall being a third grader dancing to "Beat It", "Thriller", and "Billie Jean" with my friend Claire at her slumber parties.

According to MJ in an interview to ABC News many years ago, he confessed that the song that was the most "autobiographical" was his song "Have You Seen My Childhood?" The most poignant and perhaps insightful segment on his Peter-Pan-like behavior and retreat into Neverland was when he described wistfully how he would look out the window and see children playing carefree on the playgrounds while his father forced him to study and then rehearse all day. He wondered where his childhood went and perhaps, as he grew older and more bizarre to the public, he transformed into a child who believed he was merely interacting with other children as peers.

The song that most defined the idealism of the '80s was "We are the World"... I was a child of that era of hope and believed through global collaboration, anything is possible. MJ co-wrote that song and he inspired a world to care about Ethiopia. He introduced that place on the map to me as a third-grader and sparked a lifetime interest in making a difference in the world. I think other children of the '80s may have felt that way, too. On a global scale, I believe that not only did he influence a new generation of musical pop artists, but also artists of all stripes and colors to make the world a better place through their art.

It's also during these times when an cultural icon dies that I contemplate the creation and endurance of icons. What does our choice for icons at a certain era say about the values we hold as a society? If a cultural icon is adopted worldwide, is this not an indication that there are universal dreams, aspirations, and struggles that unite and are shared across the world? If that icon proves to have an enduring legacy, what are those timeless values that transcend generations? As I survey the flood of worldwide sympathy for Michael Jackson, an icon most never knew personally, I think of why his death has touched so many of us profoundly and why we weep for what we perceive to be the end of an era. What defines an era culturally and how is it that one individual can come to represent an era? Is it the intensity of the media coverage of an image or icon that gives that icon a life of its own? In the American neo-local society, we may not see family members for months perhaps even years, yet for decades, MJ was a constant fixture in our public media consumption like a distant yet intriguing uncle, cousin, or nephew we watched from afar. It seems that Fred Roger (creator of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood) understood the power of icons and that even t.v. personalities who appear in children's daily lives could offer children a sense of security and love if they could rely on the perceived permanence of that family icon in their lives. When Princess Diana the most photographed woman in the world passed away suddenly, the world grieved for a woman they never knew personally, but became the embodiment of the good, ordinary women we knew in unhappy marriages—our mothers, our sisters, our friends, ourselves—who never had the opportunity to self-actualize but were there daily for their children. We watched Princess Diana transform from a woman with a charmed life some envied to a woman with an all-to-human life we later could relate.

Like the the People's Princess, the King of Pop held us spellbound in an admiration for his superhuman talents and a stardom that was recognized worldwide to the heights that many of us can only fantasize achieving, yet he attracted our sympathy for his human suffering as he overcame the shadows of his humble roots with an overbearing father to become a superstar through his extraordinary efforts and gifts. His success was the professional fulfillment of the American dream that a world could envy and share. In his song "We are the World", MJ entreated us to view ourselves as citizens of the world even within the context of the "me" generation. He revealed a spirit of generosity we wanted to perceive in ourselves. Michael Jackson was not the man in the mirror; he was the mirror capturing the shape of our imagination, and what we saw through the mirror was our own reflection.

Adieu, Moonwalker, you danced to your own beat with your graceful light steps and rocked the world. Yes, your "We are the World" continues to echo in the hearts of many even if your own voice is silenced and your steps are stilled.

- jans.siming
www.jsiming.com

Digital Creations Expressed, Intertwined, and Redefined in Mundane Physical Forms

2008-04-17T12:46:00.036-05:00

As part of my personal commitment to learn more about pioneering creative work, I make a point to attend as many cutting-edge and/or thought-provoking project exhibitions in Boston area and elsewhere as I can. Over the last month, I attended some stunningly inspiring and awesome events such as the down:2:earth conference presentation on "sustainable design" in Boston and the MOMA (museum of modern art in New York City) exhibition on "design and the elastic mind."At these events, I was struck by the groundbreaking potential of interactive and responsive designs that closely weave digital lives with the physical world, blurring the boundaries between the two and redefining each other. In the previous decade, it seems that there was a real drive to move everything to the exciting frontiers of digital media. However, slowly with time, companies have been moving to an integrated brick and click model. Even in our pedestrian lives, there seems to be a growing interest in bringing the cyberspace into our physical world. This runs parallel to another trend where we're building richer virtual communities where we may share more in common with those of like-mind and interests than we do with some of our offline communities merely connected by geographic proximity. The digital seems to take on more organic characteristics while the organic world is becoming enhanced and redefined by the digital media.

Some examples of fascinating trends that I observe are emerging and may transform our mundane experiences with design:

1)3D printing that has the potential to transform and collapse the manufacturing supply chain as the technology to manufacture 2D generated images into 3D objects such as furniture in a matter of minutes versus days advances. In a MOMA project, I watched a video of individuals painting in white digital globby ink furniture formations around them. This two-dimensional video that featured people interacting with their physical space to create digital forms was then used to print three-dimensional actual chairs made from resin in a 7 days. These chairs and tables had an organic, hand-drawn appearance and were created from a single brush stroke at each time. From a 2D video capture of a 3D moment, I witnessed the transformation of these two-dimensional video images into new physical three-dimensional permutations of the designers' imagination.

2) The Emergence of Responsive Design as demonstrated, for example, by a MOMA project featuring digital organisms that respond to real world physical stimuli such as sunlight, human interaction, etc. These digital organisms display organic characteristics such as an ability to pollinate and populate a room. Represented at the MOMA exhibition were digital flowers—shadowy silhouettes of digital weeds/flowers—that may have bloomed on one wall but then through pollination and interaction with real world stimuli, these digital organic flowers populated other parts of the room.

3) Google Maps customized to the purposes defined by different organizations and companies to give a new level of statistical information and means to examine emerging trends. For example, there were demonstrations of how to find certain fast food restaurants and to search and plot for them on maps. In another example, the NYC police department used google maps to describe hotspots for crime. Individuals are also using it to share photos on their road trips with others in the blogosphere.

4) Digital interactive installations are pulling real-time data from the web to create a more instantaneous and meaningful end-user relationship with live, evolving content. At the MOMA exhibit, I saw a very creative, poetic, and fun installation piece by Jonathan Harris and Sep Kamvar entitled "I want You to Want Me" that pulled real-time data from dating sites such as photos and profile details. These information were presented as balloons representing real men and women on existing dating sites and categorized in varying age groups. When one selected a balloon to view a profile of a particular individual, one could glean the professed identity of that individual and learn more about the qualities he or she is seeking in a mate. Also, another balloon also opened up simultaneously that is a match to that first balloon based on the profile details. Each balloon represented a hope rising to the sky of the large screen, a hope in finding the ideal mate for each individual. This project essentially explored the increasing plurality, plasticity, and ambiguities of digital identity creation as the web and social media community grows.

5) Concise data visualizations that display rich and complex details that empower us to access, absorb, and interpret a tremendous quantity of information more quickly. For example, there was a MOMA project exhibited called "History Flow Maps" that was able to concisely depict the multi-tiered terrain of the collaborative content editing processes for the Wikipedia entries on chocolate and abortion. This project provided perceptive insights into this collaborative Wikipedia process through color coding of each author's editing period in the collaborative sequence and the duration of the color line corresponded to the length of the text line they edited. The project enables one to see which topics described were more controversial through either harmonious periods of non-editing or rapid content changes.

6) Environmentally responsible and sustainable designs are becoming central to a forward-thinking company's message and solution to address a burgeoning public demand for solutions that are socially conscious and eco-friendly. At the down:2:earth expo, Ursual Tischner, founder of a German based sustainable design consulting firm and one of the guest experts in global sustainable design concerns, presented some case studies on this trend. She discussed how firms are starting to recognize that a demonstration of their commitment to socially conscious issues and eco-design is a competitive edge against others in their industry. This commitment also helped these firms project a more progressive image to their customers. For example, according to Tischner, Timberland creates boots made of recyclable and renewable materials and manufactured through energy generated by wind and solar power. They now proudly display their environmental commitment by including a "nutritional label" in all their shoeboxes that feature a quantifiable eco-conscious "nutritional" score on their shoes. Timberland cleverly asks, "what kind of footprint will you leave?" — a play on the ecological footprint concept.

Sustainable design are redefining the landscape of our daily lives as well. At the MOMA exhibition on sustainable design, there was an example of a street light used in Europe that is powered by solar and wind energy. Imagine the potential of these structures as public art sculptures and objects that help to generate its own light through solar and wind energy. These street lights are rather simple sculptures now but as they became more popular as a concept, perhaps there will be even more spectacular sustainable design sculptures. I can envision a world where there are public sculptural art galleries in this city featuring these projects that also serve the purpose of generating solar and wind energy for a public center. If they are truly beautiful displays, imagine their potential to help stir tourism in our beloved Boston or in other cities. If we concentrate these public displays in certain cities and centers, then people may go out of their way to visit these public outside galleries.

7) Increasing awareness that designers are not merely plastic surgeons and beauticians of existing content and images that should be introduced at the last rung of the creative cycle, but rather an integral part of the solution strategy and vision. Consumers of content are more influenced by design subconsciously than many have realized previously. Tischner at the down:2:earth expo also described a case study where a eco-friendly drink was made dramatically more popular with a new well designed product package that conveyed a superior, natural taste. As eco-friendly product packaging also become more attractive and well branded, these products become more appealing and are considered the preferred option beyond the merits of their primarily socially conscious value. Through the imagination of sustainable design experts like SMIT (Sustainably Minded Interactive Technology), solar cells are given an attractive face-lift and made more compelling to the end users for a variety of reasons. SMIT exhibited and prototyped GROW, a new hybrid energy delivery system designed to look like organic ivy when it's placed over buildings to harness solar and wind energy.

Stay tuned for more musings on particulars of some of these major themes as well as exploration of other emerging themes in digital media in upcoming postings...

Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Web + Graphic Designer, Siming Cybercreative

"The Evergreen, Everlasting Christmas"

2007-12-15T09:58:00.000-05:00

It's 1997.
A wreath of Christmas lights encircles your dorm room ceiling yearlong
I'm lying on my back on your twin bed,
studying you at your desk typing at the computer
Blasting down unknown players lurking in shadows
in a multi-player video game "Doom" between your problem sets,
Your copper hair glistens like a gleaming ornament amidst the lights
Outside, the December white winter snow descends upon the Charles
The whirl of cars sliding sluggishly through
the slushy Storrow Drive punctuate the hours
A chill fringes the windows, I look out at the barren branches and
the white walls of the MIT President's grand home
A festival of psychedelic spring flowers in fluorescent greens and fuschia cheerily adorns the wall before me—
A framed 1980s poster print of a painting you borrowed
The sweet scent of herbal weeds mingles in with
your last Stouffers tv dinner of mac and cheese
Empty plates of crumbs piles nearby the bed
A black-framed Ando Hiroshige's c.1855 woodblock print of
"Navaro Rapids" rests on your pale wooden bureau
A flat box lying on your clothes mountains features
a festive looking house illustration filled with windows of chocolate —
Windows framed by crinkled aluminum foil curtains opened reveal
daily event Cadbury milk chocolates partially eaten
Your mum in UK has mailed me one this year as well,
our first Christmas together.
I faithfully observe the rules, eating only one per day, delighted
You, who have been receiving chocolates for years,
carelessly breaks the rules and take two today.
Every chocolate representing the march of days
looking forward to Christmas.
The room is dim, I stare at the ragged nondescript,
mousey, brown-grey carpet beholding
another green-wired string of Christmas lights flickering,
you far away beyond arm's reach.
This moment feels familiar.

It's 2005.
Exhausted at 3:30 am from another Christmas night
working at the restaurant, my holiday family duties.
The faint scent of oil-drenched fried chicken wings and
chicken fingers lingers on my sweater,
I plop down by the computer in my brother's room,
deciding last minute to check my emails
Expecting a deluge of holiday greetings from well-wishers —
A headline catches my eye, "A sad new about Ben Walter."
I open all the other emails first, my heart sinking.
I note the "s" missing from the word news.
I stare at the period at the end of that email subject header.
Seems so final.
I click. A rapid of words flood fast...
"Died suddenly. Body found. Ben Walter. Shanghai. December 21.
Our good friend. Gone."
I scream. My brother doesn't understand, asks me to lower my voice. He's embarrassed.
I think of the last three emails he wrote on his last couple days to which
he thought I didn't respond. I replied too late. Two days too late.
I think of the last AIM message — the one I paused as I decided whether I should save that message.
I closed the window reluctantly, thinking there would be others.
I ponder what I was doing that day earlier in the week.
December 21. Freelance web design. A day just like most.
It's been 5 years since I've last seen you.
I was in Shanghai in the spring for a day earlier this year —
You were too ill to meet up, you wrote.
You have another college friend in town staying with you.
You have a venture capital meeting in the morning.
The taxi ride is too far away.
Over an hour, you protested. Too expensive.
Rivers apart, I'm by the Pudong, and you at the Puxi.
This moment feels familiar.

It's 2007.
I'm looking out the window on my right, it's a blur of white through my red and transparent swirled curtains.
Snow has melted into a soggy slush.
I suddenly remember I saved that Cadbury chocolate event calendar box somewhere in my closet,
A tribute to a Christmas I once looked forward to carelessly.
Wreaths of Christmas lights now encircle my common rooms downstairs year-round
Christmas lights crown every apartment since yours
Your Ando Hiroshige's woodblock print now rests
on my light wood bureau.
Your b-day card depicting a chubby coppery orange striped cat arms outstretched and wearing a British patrol hat leans up against this print. Card reads, "Happy Birthday! Or as they say in England...
Happy Birthday. We speak the same language."
A b-day card. A valentine's day card. A Xmas card.
Old cards to mark the new chapters of my life line my room.
Only you're not here to say it.
This moment feels familiar.

by
Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Designer, Siming Cybercreative
December 15, 2007

Idiosyncracies of an Effervescent Spring Longing in the Time of Autumn

2007-11-01T11:32:00.000-05:00

A sea of black Chinese characters float below
Pastel and pyschedelic animated murals, phantoms of a
sugar-coated alternate universe spun in childhood fantasies
Pixieish, wide-eyed Yuki croons to an effervescent, bubble-gum
sky blossoming of cotton-candy pinks, golds and lime greens
Lithe-figured, sprite-like, she ebulliently leaps and playfully dodges
between the foreground and background of painted scenes and mirages
The tv screen glows, a turquoise-blue gem within the night of day
You chant along in mandarin to this hypnotic pantomime,
your British accent and boyish tones become
an idiosyncrasy of times and places you've traveled and imagined
You swim between your dream states —
Mesmerized by everlasting spring bling in a world of dim shadows,
Enchanted by fantastical potentials, numb to a greying reality
Autumn lowers its eyes to an icy winter enfolding its steel-cold arms
around us outside, between us inside
Quietly, I turn to look at you as I leave.
You hardly notice, your eyes entombed by the screen
displaying another world that grows intensely vivid
This brew of electric blue and kaleidoscopic colors bedazzling
continue to spin and draw you in...
Your copper hair, smouldering embers lit by artificial lights
A lone hue among browns, beiges and the whites of your reality.
The dark closes around you, I close your door behind me.
Beyond the wall, my silenced spring, I hear —
Your immortally child-like voice serenading this digital dream,
It's another autumn setting...
Your song lingering...

by
Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Designer, Siming Cybercreative
November 1, 2007

Heartbroken: A Pangaea Divided into Nations

2007-10-03T20:16:00.000-05:00

Heart broken,
A world divided into nations
Pangaea, i dream of you
I never knew you well
You dwell in my misty childhood legends
Peaceful, seamless continent
You know not of boundaries
No borders to dispute
No cultural divides
No victors, no losers
Heartbroken pangaea
Your land shredded into countries
Your past battles itself —
Now amongst themselves
Your unrestful, war-torn nations divided now rise in pride
They declare their names:
Ambivalence. Alienation. Envy. Regret. Indifference. Despondence. Disillusionment. Dispair. Sorrow. Vexation. Perplexity. Resignation.
They all fight for Independence.
They fight for Contentment.
They fight for Unity.
For an empire in their own name.
Oceans of Time separate your distant territories adrift
Civil wars arising within your jaded countries spring forth new nations:
Compromise. Empathy. Compassion. Wisdom. Enlightenment.
Multilingual, multicultural, multi-perceptual complexity.
Your nations speak through the languages of philosophy, visual arts, poetry, psychology, spirituality.
Although we may sew your nations together —
One world scarred, jaggedly stitched in wary attachments —
Pangaea, you will never be the same.
You have less and yet you have more.
A heart broken, a heart awakened.
A heart defined by its lines.

by
Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Designer, Siming Cybercreative
October 3, 2007

The Story of Team Lychee on the Jimmy Fund / Dana Farber Boston Marathon Walk 2007

2007-09-24T00:19:00.000-05:00

A Letter to My friends...

Hey guys,

Sorry for the belated report in on the Jimmy Fund/Dana Farber Boston Marathon Walk last Sunday, September 16th since I've been a bit busy with some client project deadlines earlier in the week and I wanted a bit more time to write a longer email. Anyhow, I wanted to thank you all for your generous contribution to the Jimmy Fund / Dana Farber Fund Walk! Through your tremendous generosity, I was able to raise $650 toward the Jimmy Fund and Dana Farber Cancer Institute that has treated more than 32,000 adult and pediatric patients and over 600 clinical trials in 2006. The money you helped contribute goes toward research and cancer treatments.

Cancer will affect us all — either to someone we love as well as some of us individually. I know some of you donated to honor a loved one who has faced cancer. My siblings and I donated in honor of our late paternal grandfather (ye-ye) and some of you donated in honor of a sibling's or parent's struggle. Your gift is a loving tribute and support for those you listed in the honor roll. I also thank you very much for supporting me as well in my choice to support this cause and in my efforts to get more fit.

To summarize my odyssey of good will: I COMPLETED the ENTIRE 26.2 miles (yes, all in one day)... Not in good time. But in good spirits. And with good company. Fortunately, a friend (John Liu) I made on the walk was able to join me for the grueling walk. The day started on track — I got out of my house by 5:15 am making good time. I had planned to take the subway in from Davis Square and get to Copley before 6:45 am to take the bus shuttle out to Hopkinton where the race began. (This race runs the same course as the Boston Marathon.) As soon as I started going down the escalator at Davis, I was met by an Indian woman who smiled at me as she was going up the other way. I thought, this day is shaping up nicely. I was quite proud of myself for being organized enough to get to the train on time. The Indian lady then turned around and called out, "There's no subway trains." I turned around. She repeated, "There's no trains. I've been waiting." I stared at her blankly. "30 minutes." I then started shrieking, "Are you KIDDING me????? Are you sure???? I think I hear the trains coming" A dozen thoughts started racing as I knew my deadline to get to Copley Square was tight. "Noooo, no trains. Trust me. There's no trains. I've been waiting," she repeated. At this point, I ran like mad out the door and found a taxi and with a flat fee of $20, I made it to Copley with plenty of time to spare. I bought batteries for my walkman and some kashi chocolate chip granola. (Yes, I'm so lame that I don't even have an ipod YET.)

In any case, my sister's friend John (who wrote to me via facebook) climbed onto the bus and I offered him one of FOUR japanese buns with curry beef (my latest fav at the Porter Exchange japanese eatery place). I sorta half-napped on the train. Unfortunately, I had not slept more than 2 hours before the walk. I had big plans to prepare everything beforehand but nope, that didn't happen. I couldn't find my credit cards. I later found it my purse... of course. There was plenty of food at Hopkinton... There were coffee, bagels and cream cheese, bananas, and yes, even Dunkin Donuts. You'd be proud of me that I only grabbed ONE munchkin. I ate the bagels and cream cheese. I registered and got a t-shirt (that I will lose later on the walk). I putzed around for so long that John and I didn't leave for the walk until almost everyone had left. Not sure which direction to turn, a guy turned to look at us and said to come over to where there was a big banner even if it was several paces backwards. He then smiled and said, this is where thousands of marathon runners have started. You're now standing where they stood. I felt awed. For a minute. Then we started walking. It was a sunny day, slightly chilly but it warmed up as the day progressed. We passed by a lovely lake (or reservoir?) where I caught sight of a lily-white swan in a bed of white leaves or soddened blossoms, sunbathing alone.

I was amazed how folks seemed rather disciplined and competitively walking past even a mom with a baby stroller talking to her friend raced by us. Even older people seemed to striding forward quickly. It was definitely more competitive in feel than the Boston Walk for Hunger (you can see my page and donate still I think) where we walked at our own pace and no one seemed to look over their shoulders much to benchmark their place on the course. By mile 8, my left knee was unexpectedly starting to get sore and stiff. I was amazed since on the Walk for Hunger, I completed all 20 miles very easily — it wasn't until about mile 18 (ten miles later) did I feel even a tad more tired. However, here I was attempting to go further and I was more sore already. I chalked it up to the fact that I wore the wrong sneakers. I wore another pair for the Walk for Hunger that I bought at a sports store in Maine for Alex's marathon run. It was on sale but white like dorky runners over 50 might buy. So, I chose beauty and style over utility and wore my black Sketchers sneakers (the label said "Sketchers Sports." I felt reassured). By mile 8, I realized the Sketchers sneakers were not supporting my foot arch and was probably not absorbing the shock of walking on the cement for hours on end. I also think I didn't rest up from the South End Open Studios event where I was on my feet for probably 6 hours so that didn't help things either. Anyway, from mile 8 to 13 (at Wellesley College), I hobbled through those miles. By the time, we got to Wellesley, there was nothing left but some jars of peanut butter and some sad mushy-looking something in a bowl. I elbowed John, whispering, "Do you think that's an egg salad?" He shrugged. I didn't have any but I welcomed the chance to sit for 40 min or so. My youngest bro John had called me on the trip to wish me well and to suggest I prop my feet higher up to reduce lactic acid buildup in my legs. That might have helped. We had plenty of hi-C fruit punches, and cheese and peanut butter crackers on the trip and other granola bars along the way.

Since they were really clearing up the place and there was virtually no one really left from the walkers' group, I felt the pressure to start walking again. Thankfully, John was kindly carrying my bag of snacks and water bottles I thought I would need on the trip. Boy, was that so not necessary since you hardly go more than a mile without snacks at every station. I offered him a Japanese Calpico lychee drink and he suggested that we call ourselves "team lychee" since apparently, the Jimmy Fund had plenty of teams. Not able to conjure up a better name, that seemed appropriate and cute name. As the walk progressed, John ended up carrying more and more of my stuff. (Thanx, John!!!!)

In any case, we were walking along and noticed that there was barely anyone who seemed to surprise us from behind so we were wondering if we were last. At one point, I rested my sore knees around mile 14 and was stretching them above my waist. An Enterprise van pulled up in front of us. An attractive late 30-something guy jumped out and grinned at me. I started wondering if he was about to ask me out since this had happened to me in Harvard Square when I was delivering mail for Harvard one summer between college years. The guy started saying, "I've been watching you. I've been following you." This was getting WEIRDER by the minute. He glanced over at John and sorta dismissively said, "And you, too." He then proceeded to say that apparently, we were probably now last on the walk. Yikes. He said that they have been monitoring us since we were last and they couldn't clear the stations until every walker has gone by. I looked around nervously for more of those Enterprise vans circling around. He offered to drive us further down the walk. I refused since I knew I could complete the walk even if very bad time and I wanted to be able to report to you fine folks, that I have completed the entire walk. He then proceeded to say ominously, "Heartbreak Hill is ahead of you." Really? I thought I had passed that. Nope, he said, you have three BIG hills ahead of you and he asked me whether I could make it. I said yes, if I passed one of them already (which I did), it was barely anything. I proceeded further but I felt the pressure was on. A woman at one of the stations said, "You're very powerful. We can't leave until you do." Talk about PRESSURE. At this point, I stopped all joking on the walk and walked for miles plowing forward. Amazingly, my left knee improved. Maybe it was that the path was more gravelly and more soft so it hurt less. The mysterious Enterprise vans kept circling around. It was like Big Brother was watching. They would stare at me through the window, maybe slow down at some points, stare and nod at me silently, or on occasion, ask me how I was doing.

Eventually, we passed by a couple about 65 or so. Yes, we were even behind the older people. The wife was hobbling around from a hurt, swollen knee bundled up in thick wraps and her husband was determined to complete it. The hubby was sounding a bit grumpy as he cited his wife as the reason why they were so far behind. "What can I do? I can't walk on ahead without her." He sighed loudly, looking back at the ol' ball and chain behind him. "She's my wife." We gleefully passed by them, relieved to now only be the THIRD slowest rather the absolute slowest people on the walk. We watched the Enterprise vans now flock around the older couple behind us, the new targets of their attention. Phew. A short time later, I saw a bunch of high schoolers walking. Boy, did it feel great to walk by them. I would rest for a bit and anxiously ask John to spy on whether those darn high schoolers were catching up. As soon as we caught sight of them out of the corner of our eyes, we were up again and walking. Slowly we hobbled past more "kids." At the top of Heartbreak Hill, they had a guy playing the saxophone standing on a car. Nice treat.

Each mile was marked by a big posterboard with the faces of kids under 7 or so. Written around the photos of each child, were their names, what they liked to do for activities and what they wanted to become. Brilliant idea! It seemed as we got closer to the city, the balder the kids got. Maybe it was a nudge, nudge, don't whine because the kids are having it tougher idea. At one point, I saw this cute photo of a girl and the poster board declared that she liked to "dance, play with her friends, and draw" or something like that. Listed under what she wanted to become, the poster stated "I want to be a dancer." I cooed, ooooh, that's so cute! Then I looked at her age. One. I'm sure if you asked me what I liked to do at age one, it might be something like "mum mum, blah blah blah, and yadda yadda" and I want to become a "boodoopoo" or something. I'm sure I didn't say I want to grow up to be a graphic designer and artist. :P And even if I were able to announce that, the higher-ups in my life would probably had vetoed that declaration and listed "scientist" or "doctor" or "chemist."

In any case, as I plodded further along, I kept exclaiming, "WHEEEEERE is the next baby face??????!!!!" Meanwhile, John reported in that his walking condition had downgraded from "good" to "okay" by mile 23. I was at "this is taking a long time" to "this is taking a DARN #*@!*$%!@@#^!@$!$#$%&%$%@!@@# long time." Finally, we made it to the end of the walk (making a very short detour to pick up angora melon/kiwi lime fro yo nearby the Kenmore station area) sometime after 6 pm. Fortunately, we were NOT the absolute last people on the walk. There were a few high schoolers (or young college students) after us.

Lessons learned:
1) Wear comfy sneakers designed for marathon race (even if they look dorky)
2) Don't bring any snacks since they will only be dead-weight unless you don't like the type of food they provide there
3) Start walking EARLIER than the pack so that you don't end up last
4) Go to sleep early
5) Check to see what time the subway train runs (apparently it runs at 6 am on weekends and not 5 am as they do on weekdays) BEFORE leaving for the shuttle
6) Bring music - ipod or walkman
7) Gleefully savor ALL your calories... no one's counting today (not even your mom... yes, even if she's Asian and STILL slimmer than you have ever been your entire adult life)

I limped my way home and slept an hour later pretty much with my feet propped. The next day, I was still partially limping on my sore left leg but the right leg was 99% perfect. The stiff leg lasted for 1.5 days but all in all, it was a great adventure.

AGAIN, thanx so much to those of you who have already contributed to the cause!!!!! Your generosity is appreciated by many folks who will benefit from your thoughtfulness. (I'm sure those smiling babes in the photos are thanking you as well... if they could talk. Oh, wait... these kids at age one can quote Shakespeare and draw like Picasso or work to solve the riddle of the universe. Kids seem to be getting smarter every generation.) IF you haven't contributed yet, you can still do so and my page is here:

http://www.jimmyfundwalk.org/siming

siming *___*

1/2 of team lychee on the Boston Marathon Jimmmy Fund Walk

50 Trees Sing Your Name... Remember You for Centuries: In Loving Memory of Ben Walter on his 29th b-day

2007-08-26T22:47:00.001-05:00

Today would have been the 29th b-day of my dear best friend Ben Walter. I dedicate 50 trees through Oxfam gifts in his memory so that they can sing his name and remember him for centuries. Two peace books have also been dedicated in his honor as well in hopes that we can build a more peaceful world. Much love to you, dear brains.

- siming

Chance Meetings Defined by Random Chaos or Fate?

2007-06-12T14:55:00.001-05:00

“I like chance meetings — life is full of them. Everyday, without realizing it, I pass people whom I should know. At this moment, in this cafe, we’re sitting next to strangers. Everyone will get up, leave, and go on their own way. And they’ll never meet again. And if they do, they won't realize that it's not for the first time.”
- Krzysztof Kieślowski (Director of Film Trilogy "Red", "White, "Blue")

To be familiar with Krzysztof Kieślowski's films is to recognize that this quote befits his approach toward filmmaking and story developments. A minor character in the backdrop of one film becomes the primary protagonists of the sequel.

I find this quote fascinating as I have wondered this as well. I wonder what our lives look like if we could zoom out and see the complex matrix of our interactions with others, the points when we intersect at junctures of street corners, classrooms and theatres. As strangers who think we have never met, we discover we shared the same space years ago at the same time. When we look at each other...perhaps we look familiar. Maybe we have been familiar. I recall being in high school (perhaps the summer of junior year?) and a classmate named Taylor made a rather perplexing comment as we waited for a bus. Someone made a comment that my hair had reddish highlights or silver highlights. Taylor, solemnly observed me and said I had silvery-shiny highlights. He then said he knew me pretty well or something like that. At that point, I said to him that I recall seeing him in our junior high school biology class where he sat at the first row closest to the door entrance, his red and black checkered jacket covering his head. He slept (or pretended to sleep) through all the lectures. I never spoke to him then I think but he was one of the amusing characters in that classroom aside from two girls who came in dressed as if they were pregnant, their backs arched over presumably by the weight of their poofy pillows tied to their bellies or more likely, by the weight of their imagination of a pregnancy. Taylor said quietly and dismissively of that fond bio classroom memory, "I know you much more than that." Hmmmm. Well, maybe in a past life.

I think of random coincidences... maybe they were fated and deliberate rather than the debris of chaos, part of a matrix of a determined future unbeknownst to us. Recently, I joined Facebook.com site and was surprised and bittersweetly delighted to see an email from the younger sister of my late best friend and former bf Ben Walter who happened to have searched for my name on Facebook that very day I signed up. I had wanted to look up Angharad's contact info through a friend of hers since her contact info was not on her site. What a strange and beautiful coincidence that she should have happened to think of searching for my name that very day I signed up.

I wonder about deja vu... is it possible that some people seem familiar to us because they are characters in our lives each time? Perhaps, those who experience deja vu more often re-experience their lives over and over, seeing the same characters again each time. However, for others who are living their lives currently for the first time, perhaps, they don't experience deja vu or a strange sense of familiarity with their existing lives. If we suppose this is true, why then are some of us destined to repeat the same struggles of our previous lives, treading through the same muddy paths, destined to make the same mistakes? Is there a lesson we're supposed to learn but keep missing each time? I like to imagine that perhaps at the moments of our deaths, we are offered two options... a new beginning or a chance to return to our past lives if that would be the only way to see our loved ones again. What if it took thousands of years to be reborn as ourselves or billions of years for the universe to return to this state where we could relive our lives? What if there are some of us who are aware of this cycle somehow in our subconscious and the deep-seated loneliness we may feel stems from the bittersweet recognition that our time is but one quick instance in the billions of years it will take to return and see the ones we love again? Would it not be bittersweet and lovely then to see the face of our loved ones and to re-experience perfect moments with them only to know that it would take millions of years to return to that same moment? What if I've been a lonely nebula floating in the ocean of time, in the womb of the universe waiting to be reborn but alone all this time...

If we could zoom out to witness and map the paths and crossings of our lives like spectators observing our context to our contemporaries, what would the map of our lives look like? Do our paths and interconnections repeat every hundred of years in the paths of our ancestors? Presumably, the world we live in is experienced as smaller to us even as our life footprints span a greater distance. We can travel to further places than our ancestors did in a lifetime. However, could our travels mirror the movements and distances of our ancestors in their clans at their micro-level? I often contemplated when I was in college whether human interactions mirror molecular interactions. Could friendships, relationships, and larger group networks be described in terms such as covalent bonding, ionic bonding, etc?

- Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Designer, Siming Cybercreative

Deconstructing the Film "Day of Fire": Deconstructing Lives, Deconstructing Relationships, Deconstructing Life Meaning

2007-06-11T15:56:00.001-05:00

On Saturday, I checked out the Boston Film Festival (session 14 showing) at the Boston Loews Theatre. There were four film shorts that comprised the session 14 grouping of films:

Bombay Skies (21 min)
Club Soda (23 min)
Backyard Suicide (14 min)
Day of Fire (94 min)

I was a bit surprised at how polished they were compared to other indie films I think I recall seeing at other Boston or Somerville movie theatres. I found them of Kendall Square indie film quality even at their current state.

Among the four films I watched, the one that impressed me the most was the film “Day on Fire" directed and written by Jay Anania. The poetic and slow-moving feel of the film with its philosophical metaphors, an artistic fixation with thoughtful, beautiful faces that speak volumes when silent, discoveries of lives intertwined and re-examined at the end remind me of Krzysztof Kieślowski’s films. Kieślowski once said that he casted actresses (e.g. Juliette Binoche, Julie Delpy, and Irene Jacobs) and actors who had thoughtful faces that seemed to say so much even when silent. It was a study of the relationship between several individuals living in NYC — a Palestinian woman Nadzia who is obsessed with learning about all the nitty-gritty, gory details of how a victim experiences a suicide bomb (you find out she lost her parents to a bomb I think), a blond model that befriends the Palestinian, and a lonely middle-aged guy who seems alienated and odd, trying to make an awkward connection with others in the city. There several other secondary characters that you find are all interconnected somehow. At the hospital, Nadzia tape-records a medical physician describing the clinical, dry details of the physical impact and experience of a bombing and while you listen to this endless, grotesque description of bodies torn apart, the camera lingers on beauty during a model’s photo shoot which presents an interesting paradox running in parallel.

The story begins with physicians making an arrangement to transplant the eyes of a donor killed in a recent accident to another victim who has her cornea sliced out by a psychopath. The film seems focused on the intriguing eyes of all the actors even a filthy beggar who interacts with some characters on the streets. Although his face is covered with the dust and grime of the streets, his bright blue eyes are beautiful and pure as they were when he was a child, and perhaps unchanged by time as he peers out at the world. The film probably could have been edited down a bit more but I think it could have been drawn-out and long intentionally since the tape-recording of the bombing was supposed to be described in meticulous detail. The slow deconstruction of a bodies torn by a bomb parallels the slow deconstruction of the relationships of the characters that reveal their universal connection.

- Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Designer, Siming Cybercreative

In Search of the Everlasting Perennial?

2007-05-20T15:12:00.000-05:00

A small, round glass bowl of orchids
Rests on my square, kitchen table
Delicate, pale pinks crown this simple glass —
Yet their petals are firm, crisp, and young
The unbroken idealist.
The light of a cloudy Sunday afternoon
Illuminates the ribboned lines that spill from dotted centers
The drizzle-beaded bay window
Framed by a pseudo-tropical view of a lush ivy and spider plants adorn the fringes of my window view
Overlooking
Outside, a garden of winter weeds
A square patch of brown, barren earth lie unpopulated with greens
The lawn stoicly waits for a sullen summer.
Oh, spring orchids, so perfectly formed and hopeful
Today.
But what of tomorrow?
I've seen your brothers and sisters wilted and browned,
Your mothers and fathers stooped by age and cynicism
Once beautiful like you are today
Bittersweetly, I look upon your frail beauty and resolute pride
and recognize your fragility
But what of the child
Who sees her first orchid?
Or her first flower?
Was love purely hopeful and non-melancholic once?
Were we too young to remember what it felt like then?
And now too old to forget the loss, we pine for memories
we never lived and never knew?
Should we aspire for a childlike naivete unspoiled by regrets and
long-lived experience?
Or walk a tight-rope life, tottering between tentative hopes and
absolute losses, burdened by the knowledge of life's transience?
Can there be a flower that never dies?
Or must we make do with the perennials that expire
And are reborn anew —
But not the same?
Oh, the sun has broken through the grey clouds!
Can the disappointed hope once again be renewed?

by
Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Designer, Siming Cybercreative
May 20, 2007

An homage to "u"

2007-04-14T21:53:00.000-05:00

A poem I wrote last summer 2006 when I took a typography design (the study of letterforms and the role of typefaces in communication and information hierarchy development) class at MassArt. This is an homage to typography in memory of my dear best friend Ben Walter (munch 2):

"An Homage to U"

Sorrow sleeps in the nooks of the serifs
Hollow loneliness echoes long around the counters
I'm a letter in black sheep —
in a word out of context
Grouped in with other letters;
A phrase seeking meaning
A floating non-sentence in a nonsensical world.
I kearn myselfcloser to my neighbors only to find them —
Shifting away, forming new interletter spaces;
Gaps of misunderstandings
Someone removes a letter — u —
Beside me, close to me...now gone.
Lonely. I'm aware we're now a mispelled word.
Perhaps, I need a new arrangement... maybe meet new neighbors.
It's all been a scramble of mispelled letters since you've been gone.
Hoping this will all make sense someday.

by
Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Designer, Siming Cybercreative
Summer 2006

Another Winter Sinks In — Reflections on A Year After Ben

2006-12-21T22:41:00.000-05:00

Today is officially the anniversary of my dear best friend Munch2's (Ben Walter) death. Well, perhaps it was yesterday, December 20th since today was yesterday in Shanghai, China where he passed on. The present is already the past elsewhere. I never thought about how the day of a person's death is not a universal day in the universal moment experienced by all on this planet. For example, Martin Luther King's death date varies across the globe although the actual time is a universal moment.

I thought often as the days rolled closer to today or yesterday, what I could have done to prevent this tragic direction. Could I have been nicer to him during our college years? Could that have changed the course of our future? Our fate? Throughout this year, I kept thinking that on that particular day, munch2 would still have been alive. However as of yesterday or today, time has folded into himself... an entire year will emerge soon that starts the years where I cannot reflect on how just a mere year ago, he would have been alive.

I learned during this one year the human capactiy to float above the darkness. As humans, we always seek to find a plateau in our suffering. Like ocean waves, the water falls yet rises again in constant flow. However, I also recognize that there are some losses that define a person and this one touched the most beautiful places of my heart. As humans who have truly loved someone or something, we carry these wounds, these scars that leave us different, indifferent, tougher, softer and more sympathetic to the suffering of other that reveal a heart that can feel for others. Munch2's passing and the death of several others around this time has led me to reflect that what makes us human is universal.

Munch2 could have done so much for the world... I can only do my best to make his legacy and beauty live on elsewhere.
This year, I offered gifts from Oxfam Unwrapped in memory of my dear munch2: 12 textbooks for children and training for teachers in a poor region of the world. Hopefully the love I felt in my most profound friendship can blossom somewhere else and that his life is recycled elsewhere in the hopes of others renewed.

Much love to you, dear Brains... always.

- siming
www.jsiming.com
December 21, 2006

Tips for Giving to Non-Profits and Charities

2006-12-11T16:44:00.000-05:00

Apparently many people tend to make charitable donations around the holidays so I thought I’d share my advice in case you're looking into charities to support.

I strongly recommend doing the following:

Check out Charity Navigator (www.charitynavigator.org), a 501C non-profit organization works to guide intelligent giving. According to their site, they say, “They help charitable givers make intelligent giving decisions by providing information on over five thousand charities and by evaluating the financial health of each of these charities. They ensure our evaluations are widely used by making them easy to understand and available to the public free of charge. By guiding intelligent giving, they aim to advance a more efficient and responsive philanthropic marketplace, in which givers and the charities they support work in tandem to overcome our nation's most persistent challenges.”
Read Charity Navigator advice on smart giving: ”Top 10 Best Practices of Savvy Donors:“

... The site suggest several tips that I would like to summarize and emphasize in particular that I find to really important points in particular:

Identify and Prioritize Your Values. Support non-profits that have targeted outcome goals
and are not too general with their objectives.
“Smart givers generally don't give reactively in a knee-jerk reaction. They don't respond to the first organization that appeals for help. They take the time to identify which causes are most important to them and their families. And they are specific about the change they want to affect. For example, they don't just support generic cancer charities, but instead have targeted outcome goals for their giving, such as providing mammograms to at-risk women in their community.”

Basically, really think about what your values are before you feel guilty and just give money to whomever sends us pleas for help. Personally, I get tons and tons of mail from all these non-profits who get my info from similar non-profits to whom I donated money previously. FYI — Non-profits often share your contact info with other non-profts that share similar focus so think about where you’re donating money b/c you’ll soon be hearing from other similar organizations. I have been guilty of repeatedly giving money to organizations that send me info rather than really researching the organizations that interest me. I recommend that you first take time to evaluate what issues matter the most to you and then research through charitynavigator.org for the non-profit that does the best job at what you care about. For example, say you care about environmental-related causes, but you will find that various non-profits take on a different angle or focus. In my experience, there are firms that focus on protecting wildlife or endangered animals affected by global warming, others that focus on preserving natural resources and national parks, and then others that focus on the effects of environmental damage on people. When I thought it through, I realized I cared more about environmental dangers that more directly affect human lives foremost. Also, there are non-profits that focus on short-term emergency care and then there are non-profits that focus on longer-term strategic planning i.e. Do you want to feed someone a fish (or veggie if you’re vegan) today when they are hungry and desperate, or do you want to help teach them to fish so they can eat later everyday?
Concentrate all Your Giving on Only a Few Non-Profits.
Donate and work on very few organizations rather than give to a bunch of them at a fraction of what you could give to just one or two organizations that really meet your passionate concerns (see above). Personally, I've been overly diversifying my own contributions to a various non-profits since I have felt guilty about not giving money to non-profits who would have "wasted" their money writing to me and sending me all their endless free address labels if I didn't reward their efforts.
Donate to a Charity in Honor of Someone You Care
Another point (not mentioned to on the Charity Navigator site) — you can always donate in honor or in memory of someone as a gift for people who already have everything material they feel they need. You can also donate in memory of someone to honor their memory so they continue to “live” on in your good deeds done in their name and send a note to someone alive who would feel happy to hear that you care.

***I noticed this rather fun “gift” idea on Oxfam (they get 3/4 stars on Charity Navigator for excellence):
www.oxfamamericaunwrapped.com
(Gifts that help others around the world. Their site states, “Need an unusual gift? How about a camel or a water pump? What about a coffee mill or an emergency toilet? This holiday season, give a gift that helps people in need.” They allow you to send a card to someone you care about this donation in their honor.)

Happy Holiday and giving! :)

- Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Designer, Siming Cybercreative

Holiday Arts & Crafts Shopping, and Grand Opening of the Boston ICA!

2006-12-08T18:42:00.000-05:00

Support indigenous international arts and culture or works by local artists. Check out these links to learn more about these great places to buy unique, holiday gifts that support the arts. Visit the new Institute of Contemporary Art at their grand opening on Sunday, December 10, 2006.

Cultural Survival Bazaar holiday sale of indigenous art
Saturday & Sunday, 11 am – 7 pm
Hynes Convention Center — 900 Boylston Street

- Support hand-crafted, fair-trade work from around the world when you buy your holiday gifts here or purchase art for your own home.
- I believe that all the vendors pledge 40% of their proceeds toward the cultural survival group’s mission to promote indigenous folks’ rights and fair-trade.
- For more details: http://www.cs.org/events/bazaar/index.cfm

**** Their collection will be even bigger than the one in Harvard Square. I bought a bunch of stuff last week in the Harvard Square one
South End Holiday Market
(SOWA) of local New England artists
Saturday, 10 am – 8 pm, Sunday, 10 am – 6 pm
Cathedral High School Gym — 74 Union Park Street, Boston

- over 75 artistans’ stuff for some creative inspiration – Their stuff looks pretty hip and funky
- For more details on the participating artists:
http://www.sowaholidaymarket.com/participatingartists.htm
Mass Art Student & Alumni Artwork For Sale
Monday – Saturday (Dec. 4 – 9), 10 am – 7pm
MassArt Tower Lobby — 621 Huntington Ave, Boston (E line)

- Featuring original works of glass, ceramics, painting, jewelry, photography, sculptures, fibers, and more. Sales benefit artists and support student scholarships.
- For more info: www.MassArt.edu
ICA (Institute of Contemporary Art) GRAND Opening Reception
SUNDAY (Dec 10), 9 am - 9pm
Introducing the brand new ICA on fan pier!
http://www.icaboston.org/about/news/grand-opening/

- The ICA officially opens with a free, 12-hour community open house. Come tour our new exhibitions, grab a free family guide, and enjoy a variety of events including performances by Snappy Dance Theater, Alloy Orchestra, the Either/Orchestra, a live DJ, and much more, plus face painting, balloon sculptors, and animated films by New England filmmakers.

Tips for Holiday Shopping with Ethical Considerations in Mind

2006-12-03T19:14:00.000-05:00

As the holiday season descends (or rather POUNCES) on us, I found a few cool sites online to check out that you might find helpful as you think about where to shop for gifts for others that reflect ethical considerations. For example, you could buy green/recycled products made into cool stuff, fair traded goods, organic, vegan, handmade products, etc.

Ten Thousand Villages (”Fairly Traded Handicrafts from Around the World”)
http://www.tenthousandvillages.com
(I’ve seen their stuff in Cambridge area and I support their fairly-traded, BEAUTIFUL handicrafts from around the world theme and I thought I’d add it in. They even have gift registries so if you wanted to have a wedding gift registry, consider this place. Personally, I love beautiful, ethnic stuff. They make for great gifts for those with exotic or artsy tastes.)
Greater Good (”Show Where it Matters”) affiliated with Oxfam and found through a link on Oxfam site
http://www.greatergood.com
(They have some really FABULOUS, beautiful ethnic stuff priced pretty reasonably as well as mainstream popular vendors. You can also give unusual gifts like $40 to pay a teacher's salary in Afghanistan or $90 for business grants for rural African women. Certain products that you purchased will then translate to a percentage of profit going to a cause of your choice posted on the site.)
Oxfam Unwrapped
http://www.oxfamamericaunwrapped.com
(Gifts that help others around the world. Need an unusual gift? How about a camel or a water pump? What about a coffee mill or an emergency toilet? This holiday season, give a gift that helps people in need.)

These sites below were mentioned on the MSNBC "Today" show and listed on its site:

Viva Terra (”Eco Living with Style”)
http://www.vivaterra.com
(I think they are one of the more tasteful and interesting sites listed here with some really nice products that you guys might want to give to folks. I like their dining and kitchenware particularly as well as their home decor items in particular. This site is geared toward women site visitors or gifts for women.)
Hip & Zen (”Modern Lifestyle Products that Nurture the Body and Soul”)
http://hipandzen.com
(If you’re seeking some nice clothes and accessories for women and some items for men, babies from many brand collections, this is the place since they have a larger collection for women than most of the other sites on this list. They have limited collection of home decor items though. A great feature of their site is that it indicates whether a particular product is fairly traded, recycled, vegan, handmade, natural, organic, etc. They offer some urban punky cool stuff like laptop bag from recycled movie posters.)
Branch (”Sustainable Design for Living”)
http://www.branchhome.com
(looks like a pretty nice site with some good options)
Our Green House
http://www.ourgreenhouse.com
(eco-friendly baby products and stuff for an eco-friendly home if you have a kid or want to give gifts to someone with children or for baby showers)
GreenKarat (”Ecologically Responsible Jewelry”)
http://www.greenkarat.com
(some nice jewelry designs that you can buy for yourself or for others. They can customize a jewelry design to your specs I think)
Earth Friendly Finds
http://earthfriendlyfinds.com
Green Feet (”The Planet’s Homestore”)
http://www.greenfeet.com
2kh.com
http://2kh.com

(Of course, another cool idea is to also shop from local artists to support grassroots artists which I like to do as well :))
** I don’t get paid for any endorsements above so these are impartial suggestions based on things I thought people might find useful along with my commentary on these sites after reviewing them a little.. :P

- Janet Si-Ming Lee
Principal Designer, Siming Cybercreative

Election 2006 - Deval Patrick: First African-American Elected as Governor of Massachusetts

2006-11-08T13:12:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a spectacular day for Massachusetts — we made history with our election of Deval Patrick, the first African-American Governor of Massachusetts. Woohoo! I'm impressed with his open-minded, bipartisan approach toward reaching to both sides of the political aisles and other minority groups. I'm glad to hear that he advocates working with businesses as well to solve problems and work toward common goals, and is interested in growing new industries particularly biotech and green technologies. I credit Democrat Gubernatorial Candidate (in the primaries) Chris Gabrielli for getting the message about investing in innovation and green businesses through his ads. I think that Grace Ross of the Green-Rainbow Party made excellent points and is a very bright candidate — i think she really helped make the message much clearer on how Republicans advocate lowering income taxes but at the expense of increasing other types of taxes like property taxes and other fees.

Democrats also gained majority control of the House of Reps and took back most of the seats in Senate.

Six Months Past and Counting

2006-06-26T19:58:00.000-05:00

I loved to look into your childlike eyes
Large, dark, sympathetic pools
Sinking into their silent caramel brown depths, I felt
An everlasting liquid longing
A heart-churning, desperate, unrequited
love like a misty, jade-green summer pining for its lost spring
With the delicate, pink blossoms long gone, spring seems like a dusty dream
My love, I cannot resist
Your unfathomable, enchanting gaze
my heart sunk
to the bottom of our endless loneliness
I drowned in the ocean of your melancholy
I tasted the salt of unseen, unbled tears
I gazed into my mortality, your mortality
Transfixed, I glimpsed your eternity in my emptiness
Baby, perhaps I knew even then...
Our moments together would be a mere --
instant in my new decades alone.
I long to look into your childlike eyes
again...

by
Janet Si-Ming Lee
June 26, 2006 (Monday)
In loving memory of my dear best friend Munch (ben walter)

Evolving Recollections... Can a contemporary evolving love outlive the temporal context?

2006-03-28T21:40:00.001-05:00

I was recently reflecting on love evolving with time as our recollections of our past relationships evolve over the years...
As I contemplated on the sad reality that my dear best friend Munch2 (ben walter) died tragically at the young age of 27 in December, I realized that although I am still his contemporary as of now and think of him as my contemporary, what happens when I'm 60 someday, will I still think of him as my peer, my contemporary?

Can a contemporary love retain its temporal contexts if people step outside their relationship to time? If parents lose a child, I think their relationship to their child is still relatively the same in their evolving memories especially as we consider that parents often think of their grown children as being perpetually much younger even if the parents should be their 80s and the children in their 60s. However, what can we say of a friendship defined by a contemporary generational context? If someone dies as a grown adult defined by a stable concept of self-- if such a thing exists-- perhaps the contemporal relationship can exist between the dead and the living assuming that the other living individual's identity is also at a constant, stable state. However, in my opinion, Munch2 was still at the brink of true adulthood... a peaceful plateau of self-actualization and I can say at this point, I am at a similar stage. We were ephemeral contemporaries in our self-actualization and our generational experiences although I think that in true love, there exists a knowledge and recognition of the eternal core of one another's unalterable personalities, motivational drivers, and potential. If I feel that I can predict the achievements he would have obtained later in life and the evolution of his thinking given his extraordinarily gifted talents, interests, personality and temporal contexts, can my love and memories evolve to contain him in my temporal contexts?

Can I contemporize a temporal, ephemeral relationship where one individual continues to grow but the other is at a static stage? Or would there be a day when I'm in my 80s, that I would think of him as a grandmother fondly looking back at him suspended in time as a young adult forever young and beautiful, a rosebud frozen by a premature winter? Or will I look back and see him as I once did when I was in my 20s because our relationship is a temporal experience? When I'm with my family, I often find myself slipping back into the shell of my former self... my relationship contexts mostly remain the same. Of course, there are major events in life like going away to college and living away from home afterwards that have altered my relationship and some perceptions. Given that we can often slip back to our former relationships within old, non-relevant contexts, perhaps, it's possible that I will never think of him from a grandmother perspective on a much younger individual but rather as my contemporary as we once were in our shared temporal existence. Since munch2 was a couple years younger, I will always think of him as younger and his death doesn't change that. I occasionally wondered after my paternal grandfather passed away how his wife, my grandmother thought of her then older husband? My paternal grandfather was just a few years older than my grandmother but he died ten years ago when he was in his late 70s...now my grandmother is in her mid 80s, does she think of her husband as "older" than she still or younger now?

Poem: Pepperminted winter mist lingers

2006-03-23T00:13:00.000-05:00

peppermint oil frosted winters
bottled in purple tinted glass
acid burnt suede after midnight
sculptures of metal sprawled out
rolling mercury across the floor
we fumbled for a mercurial moment
sunday afternoons by a bench
at the charles river watching the sunset
counting hours silently before a
dreaded working monday begins
embracing each other tightly
we were an island together
stranded in a strange universe
your face, a picture of innocence
pale below a stoic cap of copper brilliance
a porcelain child i wanted to protect
eyes wide as a baby stare up into white space
heavy with loneliness and pain
teetering between empty giddy giggles
and silence and eyes shut
your eyes were always blank those days
a wall i could not touch, enter
i was lost in your suffering
tiptoeing on a dorm's rooftop
we watched the 4th of july fireworks
a Chinese-born American, a Brit
sharing an American experience
gulping down little bottles of booze
with two other friends
summers simmered forever
a delicate blend of melancholy beauty
laugher echoed across the years
wish i could go back
and save you
love burns like acid
nothing but fuzzy memories
textures of dreams left
writing to your screen name
a face grey and unlit now
i pretend you'll write back
a knock on IM after midnight
you're halfway across the world
a day away in time
you should be up now
i could almost think
it's you
no--
but you're gone.

by Janet Si-Ming Lee, March 23, 2006

The March of Spring, a winter season has passed...

2006-03-22T12:56:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was the first day of spring. An entire winter season has passed since Munch2's passing on the first day of winter December 21st. Time marches quickly... March will soon slip into April. The days are not quite distinctly warmer -- it has been a warmer winter to begin with. The sky is still gray.

The Chinese have memorial days on the two equinoxes of the year where they visit the cemetery to pay their respects to their loved ones and have a picnic above their graves. My family held theirs on Sunday at the Forrest Hill Cemetery where my paternal grandfather Yung Chak Lee is located. It's nice that asians keep the dead in their lives, their ancestors in their minds. Typically we bring lots of Chinese dimsum and pastries, pork with crispy skins and sit and eat there. There are often many Chinese families there in the spring and fall as well visiting the grave sites of their loved ones. It's funny that even in the afterlife, there are still ethnic communities clustered together... a little Chinatown community for the dead.

It would be strange and sad to visit Munch2's grave in England some day... just a name on a stone and know that somewhere below, he sleeps forever under winter snows and all the seasons of the years. I haven't seen him since 2001 when he graduated... five years ago. I had hoped i would see him alive again. I think of a quote that I read somewhere as a child... "If we knew when and where would be the last time we would see a loved one again, our partings would be more dear" or something like that. The last time I remember saying goodbye to Munch2, we were on Main Street near Kendall Square MIT area. We held hands and I cried thinking when would be the last time I would see him again. I held his hands in my hands wet with tears for as long as I could while thinking of that quote. He seemed rather antsy, eager to start the next stage of his life that left this Cambridge behind. I watched him for as long as I could still see him... his bright copper hair fading into a dot around the bend and underneath the aisle of trees. Maybe there was another goodbye afterwards where I last touched him but this goodbye I remember best. I thought then maybe I'll see again in five years? Who knows? I didn't know for sure that moment would be the last time.

The crocuses should be out soon... I'll have to keep my eyes open for the signs of spring...

From Dust to Pixel Dust... our pixelmatter lives on in cyberspace...

2006-03-03T00:52:00.000-05:00

I was contemplating today on that old phrase "from ashes to ashes, from dust to dust"... currently, with the growth of websites that house information even from the mid 1990s, it's strange to think that our pixelmatter may live on in cyberspace long after we do physically. From dust to pixel dust... fragments of our old selves live on on other sites and if anyone continues to add information or commentaries to postings, there is a new generation of ideas and sentiments that continue to thrive long after we're gone.

I googled the web for any previous postings by my dear Munch2 and found his previous postings as long ago as 1995 when he was just a 15 year old pioneer of the web and a photo of him (see photo on the left) in a Kidlink class. It's so precious and bittersweet to see his photo then and hear his youthful idealistic voice again in these postings on kidlink:

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Subject: File: "KIDART PXBENWAL"

|=|----------------|=|
|=| THE KIDLINK |=|
|=| PHOTO EXCHANGE |=|
|=| PROJECT |=|
|=|----------------|=|
|=| Coordinated by |=|
|=| Ben Walter |=|
||
|=|----------------|=|

1) Who am I?
My name is Ben Walter, and i'm 15. I live in the outer reaches
of civilization in Cambridge, England ;-> I love music,
reading, computers and going to see movies. I'm a DeadHead
(or as close as you can get to one stuck over here :->); that
is I love the Grateful Dead. I'm about 6ft tall, and I love
wearing brightly-coloured tye-dye shirts. I guess typical
clothes for me are jeans and a t-shirt (tye-dyed of course!)
with the odd silk head-band thrown in for effect :-> No
60s retrospectives here folks! *grin*

2) What do I want to be when I grow up?
I'm not entirely sure what I want to be. I certainly want to
carry on working on the Net; I love the Net and all those on it.
I'd think to carry on working the KidLink community and help
it to expand. I'm really entranced with the whole idea of
a global community of kids. It's the sort of thing most
people are only dreaming of, but it's happening now and
we're a part of it!

3) How do I want the world to be better when I grow up?
I would like to see people learn to understand each other
more. I would like to see people treat each other as they
would treat themselves, and realise that they aren't alone.
I'd love for people to understand different ways of thinking,
and learn to respect them rather than ridicule or criticize
them.

4) What can I do now to make this happen?
I think that the KIDS project is working on this right now. It's
getting Kids all around the world working together and learning
about each other. There is a big difference between learning
that there are however-many-million people living in, for
example, Russia, and talking to a russian child, learning about
how they see the situation. It makes people see how events around
the world affect real people. For example in the recent uprising
in Moscow I knew people who actually were in the city at the time.
It wasn't just a crowd of blank faces, hell, my friend could have
got hurt..

//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\ > ben@tsunami.demon.co.uk <
\ bjw@gnu.ai.mit.edu
In the land of the night \ ben.walter@lambada.oit.unc.edu
the ship of the sun is drawn by The Grateful Dead. \//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As I am copying this message and including his old photo... I have dispersed his pixeldust into the web world for the duration of this site and his kidlink site. One never knows how long one's words will last online. Online sites converge into one in mergers and acquisitions... sites go out of business... new website redesigns replace old pages. I discovered that munch2's website "bwalter.org" is probably going to be down someday. I thought of buying his domain and so that I never see it replaced by someone else's information. instead, I could pay a tribute to him on that site. If more people comment on these messages and his words proliferate, he lives on in the pixeldust, his words echo forever in cyberspace.

There's so much beauty in him that I see again when I read this message -- all that idealism I saw when he was passionately engaged in mudding in the first day of the MIT class we took together so long ago. Hmmm... 6 feet tall-- I never knew he was that tall and never knew he loved tie-dyed shirts although I can imagine that he did as a hippie visionary of the X generation. Or is that the Y generation? I believe the Y generation starts in 1978.

2006 Olympic flames extinguished, another era sets, the dusk of dreams

2006-02-26T23:44:00.000-05:00

Tonight I watched the 2006 Winter Olympics flames extinguished in Torino, Italy led by brides clad in white carrying electric candles in their conical bouquets. Another era setting. I experienced a moment of sadness. I never did like goodbyes, nor the dusk of dreams. Although I barely watched the ceremonies or activities these last two weeks, I recalled at its conclusion, the magic that I felt in my youth -- a magic of a faith that believed that everything would be alright if people in all nations could come together for two weeks in peaceful competition and team spirit. Five continents interlocked by common dreams even as we are torn by war in the middle east and terrorist activities. Sometimes it seems it's possible again to overlook our strifes for a universal good.

In these two weeks, we see beautiful moments such as American speed skater Joey Cheek donating his entire Olympic award money to a charity for children. He carries the American flag onto the stage on the final night of the Olympics. Women in beautiful sculptural white gowns with a miniaturized replica of the Italian winter countryside and mountains parade in long lines of white. Fellini-inspired clowns file in...tenor Andrea Bocelli croons in the finale, eyes closed... Pagini's dragon exhales fire. Here tonight men adorned in a fabric flesh of flame red--live sparks flying behind them-- race around the Olympic lit torch, symbolizing that "the passion lives here" in Italy's Olympic moment. Children sing in hauntingly innocent sweet voices- the voices of idealistic faith-- as an Italian 50 km long distance skiier Giorgio Di Centa is crowned as a gold medalist by his sister, also a gold medalist. He stands in his ultimate moment of glory among his countrymen at his award ceremony and you wonder what he's thinking about as he stands tallest on the platform at the pinnacle of atlethic world success, only 8 seconds from second place. As I watched the Italian acrobats with skis and skateboards dressed in futuristic white suits, arms spread wide dance like doves above a 25 mph wind lifting them, defying gravity... magic seemed possible again here where all is quiet but an ethereal melody. White sashes spiral up, confetti whirls down as these floating beings are suspended in time. Yet I'm reminded of the bittersweet truth that this suspension of life's gravity was only temporary.

Regretfully, I noticed that Olympics seem less central these days... only on one channel. I thought that when I was a child, it used to be on every channel and in fact, I felt as if the world held its breath for two weeks, all eyes focused on one part of the world that contained the heart of the world's every nation. I barely recognized any of the new figure skaters-- the last one I followed was Michelle Kwan vaguely... the last time I remembered watching her, she was considered very young for her sport and now when I watched it this year, she is considered nearing the last season of her possibilities for this sport... too old.

I wondered if Americans don't seem to follow Olympics as much these days because we have lost touch with the personalities who were competing much the way that I have whereas in the past, I felt I was able to live their dreams with them on the world stage. Even as I complained that we should care more about Olympics and what it represents, I found myself flipping through tv channels all competing for the Sunday night viewers... the final night for "Dancing with the Stars" (Drew Lachey won the ballroom dancing competition!) on ABC, Olympics on NBC and on occasion, checking channel CBS for a glimpse of "Cold Case." My recent favorite show "Supernatural" on WB wasn't on tonight so one less competition for my attention tonight. I heard that American Idol won more viewers in the USA compared to the Olympics on the night of the female singles figure skating recently which is astonishing. What does it say about Americans when our commercialism trumps our respect and attention to these rare international moments of beauty as represented by Olympics? I must add though in my defense, I am not much into sports and prefer the arts although I used to watch Olympic figure skating quite religiously (but what alternative did I have as a kid with restricted tv viewing?) given its more artistic nature. I am proud of the fact that I managed to watch one full night of the single woman figure skating event -- witnessed a Japanese woman Shizuka Arakawa win her first Olympic gold, American Sasha Cohen winning the silver, and Russian Irina Slutskaya winning the bronze. Phew! Anyway, I believe that children should all be taught the value and beauty of the Olympic spirit and what it represents about international peace and collaboration even in competition.

I think there should be an Olympic Arts event as well -- I guess the problem is that it's hard to evaluate the arts when beauty is subjective. Already I would argue that figure skating is also highly aesthetic and thus, not an easy sport to evaluate. Well then, I wish to see an international week or two to showcase world arts from music, performance arts to visual arts -- maybe not a real competition but there should be some criteria to even get a viewing.

Okay, back to tv... maybe catch the reruns of the Olympics since I missed it earlier... thank goodness for reruns and second chances.

Boba Tea Island at Lake Waban: Wellesley College's New "Lulu Chow Wang Campus Center"

2006-02-21T11:31:00.000-05:00

I recently visited my alma mater Wellesley College last week and checked out our new student center called the Lulu Chow Wang Campus Center. The architecture is beautiful -- it kinda reminds me of MIT's impressive stata center in that the floors spiral upstairs with views of Lake Waban--although it has a more intimate casual feel. Our student center now features three floors with lovely modern, brightly-colored Scandinavian furniture (?) that have somewhat organic shapes. Colored boba islands amidst corners and niche areas perfect for maze aficionados. They even have a hip looking boba tea coffeeshop area and cafeterias, pool tables, huge tv screens, etc. The Wellesley bookstore is also in this building. Free wi-fi connection. Man, I wish we had this student center when we were in college!

2nd month anniversary

2006-02-21T00:53:00.000-05:00

I looked at the date today... February 21, 2006... the second month anniversary of my dear munch2's death date. Strange to think that just two months ago and a day or two, he wrote me his last email the day before he passed away. A farewell email -- only that he didn't know it was a farewell email. If he did, what would he have said? Fortunately it was an email that was so sweet and summarized our best friendship and affections. He thanked me for the "best present he had ever received" -- a collage of photos arranged artfully with poetic memories of our college years named "metamorphosis" after our college project. it was my graduation present to him when he finished his studies at MIT, top of his class. I wrote back to him two days too late. I guess my collage of poetry for "metamorphosis" would be my last farewell words to him as well.

He wrote:
+++++++++++++++
Nuts,

Just to let you know that I arrived back in Shanghai this morning. Before I left, I was admiring the beautiful present of the collage of images and words of our time together at Wellesley and MIT. It's such a beautiful thing - easily the best present I have ever received in my life, and I really cannot imagine anybody being able to do anything more caring, so thank you again for those exquisitive memories - that I would love to have a copy of the content it was authored with to burn to a CD and save with my most valuable documents. Do you still have the .PSD file (or equivalent, if it was not Photoshop), so I can have everything kept with me?

On the flight here I watched a Japanese film called "Trainman". It is supposed to be a true story of how a terribly geeky Japanese nerd picks up the courage to stop a drunk harassing a beautifug lady and the emerging story of how a painfully shy nerd transforms himself with help and encouragement from a diverse group of Internet addicts who also are transformed from teachers to students themselves. It's a very open film, focused really on exploring the hero's transformation. I'm sure you would love it too.

Love,

Brains

+++++++++++++++

Days become a month leading to yet another month that we parted ways. I think often of his sweet parents and how hard it must be for them. His photos still adorn my desk including his Christmas 1997 mousemat that his parents gave him that features a photo of him when he was 5 or so playing with his new toys... such a beautiful young face with his whole life before him. Who knew that it would only be 27 years? His photos that I took of him during our college years arranged in a collage also adorn my desk, smiling with all the innocence of a shy teen. He's looking at me in these photos when I took them. Are photos of loved ones silent, eternal dialogues with the ones who took them and if so, do these photos and moments then truly belong to us? I think of the 1980 movie "Somewhere in Time", a story of soulmates stuck in different times -- lovestruck Chicago playwright Richard Collier (Christopher Reeves) falls in love with a vintage photo of a beautiful young Elise McKenna (played by Jane Seymour). He later undergoes self-hypnosis to go back in time to meet this young actress. You find out later that the photo he fell in love with was taken when he went back in time and she smiled at him. Do these dialogues remain even when we are nothing but the textures of dusty dreams and faded memories?

Life: The balance of happiness and sorrows

2006-02-16T00:17:00.000-05:00

I wonder how does one ever balance future hopes for happiness with the realities of past sorrows? Ever since I learned of my dear best friend munch2's (Ben Walter) death, I've been thinking of parents that have lost their children. Suddenly I feel I understand the gravity of their heartbreak. Normally death pursues life in chronological order... The older pass away sooner and we gain new loved ones as we grow older usually... First, children followed by grandchildren, and if we're extremely lucky, we'll see great-grandchildren. There is a balance of loss with new additions. What then happens when death cruelly takes away our children which people normally value as the most precious new life additions? Can they ever make a new close friend or gain a new loved one that balance the depth of their sorrows? How can we find a balance of new precious additions in the midst of significant losses that contribute to making life meaningful and happy?

For example, let us ponder the following:
What period in your life would you describe as being happy and if you consider having as many loved ones still with you as a factor in determining life happiness, how would you choose a moment that would include some but exclude others who died earlier? In my case, if I pick a moment in early December before munch2's death, I had most everyone I ever loved or cared about alive and doing fairly well; I had three best friends (Munch2, Grace, Alex) and several close friends; my career seemed to be going pretty well; I was taking art classes at MassArt's continuing ed program. However, my paternal grandfather who died when I was 18 would be a loss in the midst of these wonderful significant additions. If I ever have children, would I choose a moment as being most happy overall that included them but if I did, then it wouldn't include munch2 in my life sadly. His loss would always be at the center of my new significant relationship additions. At the moment, I can't imagine loving children as much as loved munch2 because I do not have children yet. To choose a moment in the past, we may shortchange ourselves to the potential to love others in our lives that we could not imagine living without. For example, before my grandfather died, I couldn't imagine the exact depth of love I could feel for my three best friends who I met while in college or soon afterwards... New additions that I would have shortchanged myself I chose the past.

Another interesting example would be Democrat Vice President hopeful John Edwards... He lost his son to a tragic accident when he was very young. He and his wife were so devastated that they decided to have more children to bring new additions to their life to offset their terrible loss. Now ponder which period in their lives they would choose--the current moment where they now know the love of two young children who would never have come to be if it were not for the tragic loss of their first born in their memory? Or would they choose the past when they had their first born still alive and they were still innocent from the knowledge of that heartbreaking type of loss, but they will never know the love of two new young children? Tough choice I would think.

Essentially, I realized recently that there can never be a period in our life that we will have everything... Happiness cannot be merely dependent on having everything because we will never have everyone significant to us at the same time. There will always be people exiting our lives and new people who will enter our lives and if we're lucky or ready, we will be able to create new meaningful significant deep relationships, offsetting some of our losses. The younger we are, the greater the chance we will meet more people in our lives who will be of sizeable significance to us. We may gain grandchildren someday when we lose parents... Can the love of these grandchildren be so deeply significant that our current moment can almost balance the loss of such significant relationships as our parents, keeping the balance of happiness almost constant?

How can we be happy when we know more significant losses than we know happinesses especially when old people lose their long time spouses? What is the solution to this plight? One, I guess if one deeply believed in God or a heaven after death, that would be comforting because then we would have all the ones we ever loved with us at all times although not always visible to us. Another way to find value in the future is to bring all past knowledge to the foreground of current and future experiences. I would imagine that old people who manage to remain mostly happy overall are people who are able to love new people deeply... Find value in their losses, find room to love others whether it be their own grandchildren or people of the world who need their help, or important causes. If we can fully integrate all the knowledge we have learned from our losses and love that we have discovered from loving as deeply as we did for our dearly departed ones, perhaps, we just might be able to make the future worth living.

In loving memory of munch2, my best friend: Benjamin John Walter (1978-2005)

2006-02-15T22:23:00.001-05:00

I lost my dear best friend of over eight years -- Benjamin J. Walter-- December 21, 2005 very suddenly. I think of him everyday. If one's love can be quantified and correlated to the number of pet names one has for another... he had at least 25. My favorite being "munch2" -- short for munchkin, a pet name that he gained when he did this cute imitation of the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz -- "we're from the munchkin land, munchkin land, munchkin land..."

I remember the first time I met the Munch2 in '97 during my fall semester as a senior at Wellesley College (see Ben with the copper hair in the photo here at my graduation with my best gal pal Grace on the left). I tiptoed into my first MIT class "Communicating in Cyberspace" (a web design and communications class), sitting down at a computer to his right. I stared at the black computer screen, unsure how to log in. I looked over to my left and saw Munch2's radiant young, sweet, baby face with a brilliant copper crop of hair typing rapidly at the keyboard and grinning transfixed enthusiastically at his screen. I asked him what he was doing and he quickly replied "mudding"-- without looking away from his computer. I had no idea what that meant. I then timidly asked him if he could get me set up on my machine. He helped me and then returned to his computer. The following week after insisting that my best gal pal Grace Song join me in cross-registering at MIT for that class, I met up with Munch2 again. Both Grace and I picked him to be our project partner without knowing that the other did so as well. Munch2 became our project partner for a MBTI-based personality test web edutainment site called "Electronic Age Metamorphosis." It remains one of our favorite projects that stood the test of time, a project that I know that Munch2 was very proud of as well. Munch2 was a precocious sophomore, a student that even older MIT students in our class would turn to for solutions. He had a delightful British accent and his raw genius abilities deceived me into thinking he was a senior as well. I was always touched by the way Munch2 used to be turn to listen to us and his whole face and ears seemed to turn out in such an open and accepting way. He had a 5000 watt smile that was so genuine and charmingly innocent and the most radiant copper hair. Once when Grace and I fought on the project, Munch2 was the peacemaker, teaching us forgiveness.

I heard the devastating news on Xmas and have been heartbroken and stunned. Feels very unreal. He was one of my best friends ever since '97, inspiring and supportive especially after our years in college. We dated for 2.5 years, a true first love found only when the heart is open and idealistic still.

Munch2 had such a beautiful heart, a rare multi-talented brilliance that was clear even among the most intellectually gifted (e.g. 5.0/5.0 at MIT!), a passionate curiosity, ingenious nature, a child-like idealistic quality, and he always believed in people's potential for greatness. His gentle and witty sense of humor was charmingly delightful and creatively expressed in conversations and in his thoughtful emails. He inspired me to think entrepreneurially and supported me in my efforts for greater artistic achievements. He was my creative North Star who I turned to when I felt lost creatively or worthless and seeking the light of his kind encouragement and unconditional faith in my creative, intellectual and artistic potential. A mellow hippie with a poetic spirit, he introduced me to zen buddhism ideas, oranges, browns and neutral colors, peppermint oils, henna tattos, hemp beaded necklaces, baggy cargo pants with over six pockets, Moby's porcelain song and the Grateful dead, Christmas lights for room decorations year-round, and Pablo Neruda's poetry. He made terms like "psyched" seem cool. He was also a visionary genius imagining the future, someone who could challenge others to think bigger ideas, connect cyberspaces in novel ways. I admired him more than probably anyone else among my peers. He was the brightest constellation among my galaxy of friends... he had so much potential. He could make me cry and laugh at the same time.

(James Blunt song "One of the Brightest Stars" I like to dedicate to dear Ben here)

Munch2 lived an exciting life of adventures and travel... A lifetime of achievements in a short time especially in the last years although I always dreamed of watching him grow and reach his potential. I wanted to see his metamorphosis. I imagine that he would have written a couple novels of his adventures as an expat; taught at universities like his parents who are brilliant professors, consulted at top firms as a world-renown entrepreneur and thought leader; married later in life; had two children; fallen in love with more countries (munch2 was most recently enfatuated with China, previously with the US although originally from the UK); and contributed more to non-profits. We would have continued to collaborate on personal web-based art projects and professional consulting projects. We were sure to have resurrected our project "Metamorphosis" in flash with more complex animations and ideas, perhaps winning an industry design and technology award. Maybe we would have lived in Cambridge area again... we would have shared a lifetime of conversations and found ourselves at last. He was a pioneer and a beautiful, poetic artist of life... A timeless person for all the ages. As his parents or his friends said of him very poetically, "There is something meteoric about his life-dazzling, but fleeting" -- I agree... he lit the universe of my life like a streak of vivid orange light, a flash across the the dark and silent heavens. Alas, how swiftly the light passed yet how long we will marvel at his legacy, the inspiration of legends, a snapshot of our imaginations. I will miss him dearly.

Much love to you and happy cyberspacing, dear munch2.

- Janet Si-Ming Lee
Siming Cybercreative